Transcript 0:00 Hash Marks Podcast. 0:01 As you can see, I'm Matt Lombardo, very much in the holiday spirit, joined by my friend, colleague, mentor, Mike Tanier, the purveyor of the Two Deep Zone, and at least for a day, looks like you're ready to play Secret Santa. 0:14 I'm ready. But look at you. Look at, look at your background. It looks like the Hallmark Christmas Channel. It looks like there's, like, a romantic comedy coming on, but, like, in every scene. 0:22 Have, have you ever watched the Hallmark Christmas Channel, Matt? Oh, some of them are, are real terrible. 0:27 And, like- They're f- My, my wife, God bless her, she's been wanting to watch some of these holiday movies, and thankfully I've come upstairs from the home office on Sunday night and seen some of the Hallmark movies on the TV. 0:37 So I have been given a reprieve from at least some of them. There is a Buffalo Bills one, and there's a Kansas City Chiefs one. 0:45 And I'm waiting for them to do a Philadelphia Eagles one, which will be a b- basically a, a boyfriend and girlfriend screaming about Nick Sirianni or something like that. 0:52 But if you ever watch, there's never not a Christmas tree in the background. 0:55 Like, like, the, like, you would be, say, the boyfriend talking, and there'd be the tree and the, and the, uh, uh, you know, the stocking behind you. 1:02 Then when they cut over your shoulder to the girlfriend, they would have a tree and a stocking behind her. It's like, is there, in every corner of this particular house, a tree? It's amazing. 1:12 But no, you're- I'm ready to play Secret Santa. You're ready to play Secret Santa. To- you were telling me off, off, off, off camera, though, there was a, a catastrophe? 1:21 Something to rival my near flooding of the kitchen happened in your house? Y- you had a near catastrophe. You had a close call that, that thankfully Casa de Tanier and Two Deep Zone headquarters survived. Um, 1:35 30 minutes before kickoff on Sunday, and just to set the scene, part of my routine is, since my home office is in the basement, basically attached to the laundry room, on Sundays, I'm in charge of the laundry. 1:47 So I'll throw the load of laundry in- Yeah... put it in the thing, bring it upstairs. My wife will fold it. Then the process repeats itself. So I figure, okay, I'll get a head start on this. It's Christmas week. 1:56 You know, these games aren't exactly compelling- Yeah... and grabbing my attention- Right... early. Yes. 2:02 Yeah So a h- half hour before kickoff, I threw in a load of wash, and I went to get it out, and I realized that either Sophia, who, uh, people on the podcast are familiar with, or my son, Luca, um, they had a pack of crayons go through the laundry and through the dryer. 2:18 And, well- God... I, you, you, you pull out some, some clothes, some sweatshirts, some pants, and there's, like, yellow splotches and blue and red streaks. 2:28 And there I am at 12:40, ready to, like, clean out the dryer drum, and I'm scrubbing it, and think I got it. Google and YouTube says throw a white rag in there that's wet and see if it'll, like, come out- Right... 2:40 with col- changing colors, and if it doesn't, you got all of it. Right. Okay, I got all of it. The, the, the rag came out white. Put in the second load of wash, more yellow. So I'm like- Oh, God... 2:50 I am ter- I, I am terrified to use the dryer. [laughs] So we have, like- That's right... half of our laundry just downstairs in the office waiting to be cleaned. [laughs] It's hid- it's hidden in there. 3:00 It's Luca and the Magic Crayon. The crayon will never go away. Or Luca's tie-dyed service. That was the other- Yes... other thing I was thinking of. Yeah. 3:08 I think crayon, yeah, o- older, older guy here, I think crayon comes out. If it was marker, forget about it. You could toss everything. Yeah. So. I, it was probably Luca. 3:18 Luca probably had it from daycare or from a restaurant. You know, they give you the, the crayons with the kids meal. Yes. Whatever it is. So no- note to self, um, make sure you check the pockets twice. Right. 3:29 Whether your daughter or nice, check them twice. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Uh, you, you, you spot this, I know it's stereotypical. Girls take care of their stuff. Yeah. Generally. 3:39 Boys are like, "Eh," like, "Yeah, cram it in the pocket, stick it in my sock," everything. Yeah, you'll get that. I, by the way, I don't know anything about girls, to be clear. I raised two boys. Yes. 3:47 But they didn't take care of anything, so I assume that girls take care of stuff. And I get that kind of, like, carries through. 3:53 I mean, I think it was probably about two years ago that I decided I didn't want to be a slob anymore, you know. So it's kind of hereditary. [laughs] Ooh. 4:00 You, you, you, you shed the slob gene at some point, but this is gonna be a really fun show. My, my laundry catastrophe and half-cleaned clothes, Luca's tie-dye service and full set notwithstanding. 4:10 If you enjoy the podcast, you enjoy all of this- Yeah... and the banter and the analysis and the fun conversations, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts. You can check us out on my YouTube channel at MattLombardo975. 4:21 But please leave those five-star reviews and ratings on Apple Podcasts. They help grow the show for the Between the Hash Marks podcast. 4:27 And if you enjoy Mike's firebrand of storytelling, the dad jokes, the analytics deep dives, uh, subscribe to the Two Deep Zone on Substack. 4:35 If you enjoy my reporting, the storytelling, the insider nuggets, subscribe to Between the Hash Marks on H- on Substack as well. Um, well, you have any big plans for tomorrow? 4:44 Because I, I, I thought maybe we could start the, um, the Christmas spirit maybe a little bit early. What do you have? I, I have some good old-fashioned eggnog here. Oh, great. 4:53 Uh, with the, the, the, the grated, uh, nutmeg right on top. It, it's not spiked- Okay... because I'm on dad duty. Uh- Okay... 5:00 but it is the eggnog, and I figured, uh, raise a glass to you, my friend, our second Christmas special here on the podcast, uh, to decades of friendship and, and, and colleagueship, and to all the listeners, readers, and subscribers. 5:14 Can't thank everyone enough for following, reading, listening, watching, and subscribing along. Uh, you make all this possible, and none of it... W- we wouldn't be here without you guys. 5:22 Eggnog, so I don't, I don't take eg- eggnog. I don't do hot cocoa either. So I just put my iced coffee into this. I'm not on dad duty. I'm probably gonna be starting in about an hour or two, but this is wonderful. 5:32 Also, I, I realize you're on dad duty, and someone might be within earshot. Santa is watching. Santa is watching. Yes. And Santa knows when you put stuff in front of the camera there. Right. 5:42 And Santa follows me- That's right... Santa follows me on social network. We follow each other. I can DM Santa. I'm just saying that right now. Your, your, your father and I have been in the media for a long time. 5:51 We do have some connections. Yes. So don't think Santa won't find out about this. But eggnog, iced coffee. Eggnog, iced coffee. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. 5:59 There'll be something stronger happening soon, trust meUm, speaking of- Oh yeah. 6:03 So the, the, the, the eggnog later on will have much more than just the freshly grated nutmeg on top, guaranteed There might, there might not be any eggnog in that eggnog. 6:10 Um, my, my, my son will be cooking for the first time tomorrow for Christmas Eve. I do Christmas Day still. Someday he'll- Yeah... take over for me, but he's doing the zitis. 6:19 This, this came up, and you're a good person to ask about this. It came up in the mail bag. We used it in part three of mail bag. Someone asked me about- I read it. I read it. I read the mail bag. I saw this question... 6:28 Fins Up 72, and it wasn't a question, it was more of a comment, or it was more of a personal attack. 6:35 Um, but they, someone asked about my holiday traditions, Christmas traditions, and someone came in before I could respond. This Feast of the Seven Fishes is not a real Italian thing. Come at me. Fight me. 6:44 I believe that was Fins Up 72, if you're listening. That was you. We, we talked about a little on the thing. Do you do Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve or in this week at all? No, we do not. 6:54 Uh, uh, uh, the Lombardo household from me growing up to Casa de Lombardo now, we've never partook in the Feast of the Seven Fishes. I, I'll be making the baked ziti on Christmas Eve, just like your son. Yes. 7:07 We should have a baked ziti cook-off, right? Uh, yeah. Maybe we'll, we'll send a, we'll send a hot plate to, to your place. You can send one over to ours and see- Yeah... see how it goes. Okay. 7:15 Uh, but we've never done the, the Seven Fishes. My mom used to make lasagna on Christmas Eve, uh, when I was growing up. 7:21 My, my father, though, shout out to, to Papa Lombardo, um, ever since I was little, he steamed the shrimp. So we got the cocktail shrimp that he makes. Family recipe handed down from my Great Uncle Joe. 7:34 Uh, my dad was smart enough to follow him around before, like, Thanksgivings and Easters and Christmases and, like, study this- I get it... and perfect the method. 7:41 So I, I, I need to, like, get on the ball here and learn it so the tradition continues. But the, the cocktail shrimp is the closest we come to the Seven Fishes. How about you guys? That, that's us too. 7:51 Now, the thing is, I knew, like, our family didn't do it. Our family is kind of a melange. 7:55 Like you said, Casa de Lombardo, and it's like, yeah, some of the Italian might have bleed, bled out along the way when you say Casa de Lombardo. 8:02 And when I say that our family's a melange, that sounds like some of the, uh, some of the Tanias got in there. Um, but, uh, but some of the families in the neighborhood did in Fairview Village have the Seven Fish. 8:12 My grandma would talk about how, "Oh, such and such over there, the Sardos, they're having the Seven Fish." 8:18 So it might be just either what part of Italy you came from or who in the family was comfortable, or if, or if they even liked seafood. 'Cause you're, you had the shrimp. We would sometimes have shrimp. 8:29 Sometimes we would have mussels. Yeah. And so- Or, like, a lobster tail maybe. I think the one year we did, like, the lobster tail. Uh, I think it was just when it was my wife and I during the pandemic. 8:39 I think that since it was a smaller Christmas Eve, we did, like, the lobster tail. That was as close- Right... as I ever got to the Seven Fishes. Right. Right. 8:46 Or, or my aunt, my aunt, Auntie, Auntie Deficio, she would go out and she would make spaghetti and clams. It was a authentic spaghetti and clams. Right. 8:52 But if you think about it, those clams, she had to pull them out of the freezer. So if you go back too far in history, you're not having clams on December 24th- [laughs]... 8:59 'cause where'd you get them and what, what state are they in at this point? Uh, so, so we didn't do much of that. 9:03 But, like, when I cook, it's kinda like the, the fis- fish of the s- the Feast of the Seven Pigs, um, 'cause- [laughs]... 'cause we're gonna have the ham. We're gonna have the, my, my jambalaya, okay? Okay. 9:15 Not exactly authentic Italian recipe, but there's other ethnicities here, and that's got a spicy sausage in there. Uh, another, uh, uh, Italian des- delicacy, kielbasa and sauerkraut. I was just buying the kielbasa. 9:26 And we have two different types of- That, that's a new, that's a New Year's thing 'cause my mother is, is German, European mixture. And I, I, I have a very repulsive reaction to sauerkraut. 9:36 I just, this, this smell- I can imagine... like, destroys me. Uh-huh. But I remember every New Year's Day walking around with, like, a clothes pin on my nose 'cause of the sauerkraut smell fill, filling the house. 9:46 I've seen you pick tomatoes off of things, so I can only imagine what sauerkraut does to you. Yes. Uh, um, but so if you add up all the things that have pork in them, except for, like, the salad... 9:57 I can put bacon bits in the salad so I can take that to the next level. Um, y- you know, uh, th- then it's almost like the Feast of the Seven Hams. Nobody who keeps kosher is coming over this year. 10:06 In the past, I had to really change things around a little bit at the last second. Um, but, but that's the closest thing to our tradition. 10:11 So there, there's validity to the idea that the Feast of the Seven Fishes is not, like, the stereotypical Italian thing. There's a multitude of Philadelphia area, uh, uh, traditions that people can, uh, can... 10:23 of whose last names end in O can enjoy. For sure. And my cousins and I, my cousin Alyssa and I, we talk about this all the time. We didn't realize that we, uh, they, like, having tomato pie at every holiday- Yes... 10:36 like, wasn't normal. Because tomato pie and fried chicken, they were, like, the two, like, appetizers that were out there. [laughs] Like, my great Aunt Gloria, married to my Uncle Joe, the, the shrimp man- Mm-hmm... 10:46 he'd bring over the, they'd bring over the tomato pie, the fried chicken, and you'd snack on that. And then you'd have the real meal. But, uh, Seven Fishes were never big in the Lombardo family. 10:55 It wasn't a tradition that we kept. Fried chicken on Christmas is a Japanese Christmas thing. [laughs] Yes. I know this. I, I, I know this for a fact. We know this. So there's, like, is a variety there. 11:05 By the way, I mentioned topato- tomato pie on the socials, and I got a lot of blank stares back. So we're really, that's, you're digging deep into this exact region- Region... when you start doing... 11:15 Yes, when you're doing to- tomato pie. But, but that said, I'm looking forward to all of this. I, I, I'm gonna wanna see a blue sky, uh, a play-by-play of the, the Feast of the Seven Hams. [laughs] I, I, I need- 11:26 Too busy cooking it to, to, to, to, to tweet about it. Um, but I'm, I'm looking forward to that. Looking forward to just doing some gift giving. Obviously my, my kids come in from different places now. 11:34 It's different from, uh, from what you're doing certainly with the little ones and the crayons and all. Uh, but just the, the, the spirit of being able to give gifts is, is a big part of it. Absolutely. 11:45 Uh, George McAlpy checks in. "Will be doing the Seven Fishes tomorrow night because Mom was Italian as Parmesan cheese, but I won't be eating it. The shrimp cocktail is okay, but the rest is gross." 11:55 Uh, I, I tend to agree. I, I, I, I'll go, like, shrimpLobster tail, crab cakes. That might be the end of the fish participation for me. Yeah. That might be why it might have died down a lot. 12:06 Like, when I was a child, I didn't eat any seafood. I still rarely eat seafood. My son went to one where his friend's mom cooked the seven fish, and they're having clams casino and stuff like that. 12:15 Not something we would've had back in the day. They were having calamari, which would normally be one of the, the things. But that might be it. 12:20 A, a lot of- too many people were saying, "You know, two-thirds of this family don't even wanna eat that. Don't wanna eat any of it. Why are we doing this?" So it might have died down that way. For sure. 12:29 You talked about getting in the, the gifting spirit, and it is- Well-... the season of giving. It is the season of playoff football coming right around the corner. 12:38 So we both kinda had the idea, why don't we give some gifts to teams across the NFL? Uh, Mike, why don't you kick us off? 12:45 Because y- you brought this back up this morning in the outline, and it sounds like you put some serious thought into the presents you'll be giving out. 12:52 Put thought into it, and we were talking about it, like, a week or two ago. And the one thing I don't wanna do anymore, I don't know, maybe you did it, but like do the, the old listicle where you give every team a gift. 13:02 And, like, this goes back to newspapers, and like, "Ha, we're going to give this coach a clue, and we're gonna give this coach, uh, you know, his, uh, uh, uh, the unemployment law papers," and things like that. 13:11 And, like, you, you did the same jokes every year. And some of these might be a little hackey, but I want... 13:15 It's a visual medium here, you know, especially on Substack and in audio, and I wanted to actually get the gifts. 13:21 And, uh, so for example, if I, if I said something like, "Well, for the Colts, I wanna get the Colts a gift. I wanna get Philip Rivers a gift." Um, 13:29 so, uh, maybe I get, like, an Eric Clapton CD, because it's the perfect gift for a man Philip Rivers' age, right? 13:36 It's the right artist, and it's the r- it's the right medium, a CD, because, you know, he's, he's a Gen X-er. We love these things, you know? 13:43 So, so, um, I was actually gonna go, I was looking for my AARP magazine, and I couldn't find it. You couldn't find your- I think I threw it away. I don't-... the latest edition? The latest edition of the AARP magazine. 13:52 I threw it away. So I had to grab something quickly, and I found the Clapton CD. So, uh, so that- I, I feel like he realized last night at about 11:03 PM that he is an AARP recipient. I mean- [laughs]... 14:02 you look at the first half of that game, and it was al- [laughs] it was almost competent. But like- Mm-hmm... you know, you look at the interception late, you look at some of the hits that he took. 14:10 Yeah, I, I, I think that he'd be thrilled to come back from, uh, Lucas Oil Stadium and jam out to some Clapton. Right. And then you cut to, like, his family in his section 248 of Lucas Oil Stadium. Yes. Yeah, yeah. 14:23 The right section. The entire- Yeah, it looks like one of those old movies- Yeah... like with, with Six You Get Egg Roll or something like that, uh, where you go in, there's just, like, six generations. 14:30 Uh, the, the Waltons are out there cheering him on. Um, but yeah, but he, and he's got a Texans game coming up. Get, please, Philip, retire again before the Texans come. 14:39 You face- Yeah, you don't wanna deal with that, deal with that defense. I mean, that's elder abuse. Right. Right. Exa- Oh, God. [laughs] So that, so that's it. That's the, uh, that's the premise here. 14:46 So we actually have the gifts, and, like, they're really well thought out. We didn't just go through our, our drawers and pick things. Uh, why don't you start out with, like, a team no one gives a crap about? Um- Yes. 14:55 And then- So we can get one- I don't know. I'm gonna let our special guest know that Santa is watching, and that Mike and I will DM Santa, uh- I will DM Santa... if you don't behave with the tri- the tripod. 15:03 I'd hate to do it. [laughs] I'd hate to get you on the naughty list, uh, the day before- Right... he takes flight. But, uh- Two, two days left. You don't wanna, you don't wanna have a gift go out the back of that sleigh. 15:13 Yeah. Seriously. But, but I do have a good gift here for the... I, I have a stocking full of gifts for our, for our teams that we'll be representing. Mm. I got a stocking. I'm gonna reach in here, and I, I figured... 15:25 And this was partially inspired, uh, by Walkthrough on Monday. And as you know, Walkthrough is mandatory, uh, reading for me. I, I, I couldn't fit a whole, um, you know, red zone czar in here for Matt LaFleur. Okay. 15:37 But I think I got the next best thing. Okay. It is a spinning wheel for, uh, Jeff Hafley. Okay. So he can decide when to and when not to blitz. You spin the wheel, and it says, "Oh, two. We're gonna blitz two." 15:51 [laughs] "We're gonna blitz two extra edge rushers." Uh, because you look at what happened on Saturday night at Soldier Field, we talked about it last week. 15:58 They're gonna need to figure out how to generate pressure blitzing. They're gonna need to have to- Mm-hmm... scheme up the, the pressure without Micah Parsons winning one-on-one battles. 16:07 And, uh, y- you spin the wheel, you figure out when and, and how many to blitz. Uh, Taylor Williams, both of his touchdown passes came against- Yeah... 16:15 the blitz, including the 46-yard game-winning touchdown, uh, in overtime. Yes. With, nice blitz pickup, but blitzing nonetheless. 16:23 And if they do have to play Matthew Stafford at some point, we talked about it last week, no quarterback in the NFL has more passing touchdowns against the blitz since 2018 than Matthew Stafford's 27. 16:34 So Jeff, spin away, my friend. Yeah, I like it. Spin it, and maybe it just doesn't have blitz on it at all. Like, dude, just, just cope. You know? Just cope with what you got. 16:44 And then you can flip it over for LaFleur, and it could be so, you know, you're the red zone play caller. Yes. And it's like, like, n- no swing passes to anyone, please. Like, no Savion Williams. 16:53 Like, like, little hints there. I love it. So that's a good gift. That's a good gift for the Packers. I gotta do the Bills now. Let me go find the Bills gift here. Okay. Um. 17:02 Can, can, can I, can I, can I white elephant the, the Bills? 'Cause I think I got the perfect gift for the Bills. I think I got the perfect one. Can you- You wanna white elephant the Bills? 17:11 I'm gonna give your Bills gift. Okay. I'll give the gift for the team that's earmarked that I think could be perfect for the Bills. Uh-huh. We can decide who deserves them. What do you think? Can we do it? Okay. 17:21 Oh, oh, so can I go first? Yes. So go, go right ahead. Okay. I got a little timer here, and they can use that as an alarm clock so that they're actually ready for kickoff. See, the Bills are never ready for kickoff. 17:34 It is always 14-nothing in a Bills game before the Bills even show up. So they can, like, set this, like, a half hour before kickoff, and then they can go. 17:41 Even against the Browns, they let the Browns r- right down and score, and, like, let the Browns sort of, like, control the tempo- Yes... of the game in the first half. Run around. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 17:48 Took the Jordan Poyer interception to kinda turn the momentum, because they were- Yeah... 17:52 they were kind of, like, playing with their food to the point where you had to wonder if it could've gone really badly for them.It could have r- could have gone badly, and then the previous week against the Patriots, you spot them a 24-7, 24-10, I forget. 18:02 Similar thing at the Bengals. So get a little, get a little leg timer, guys, and, like, set it and, like, wake yourselves up. Have a quick coffee, and then go out there on the field. 18:10 Don't wait until 1:00 to go staggering out. Kinda like how my kid does it when he's got going someplace. He staggers out five minutes beforehand and shows up. Don't be like that, Bills. 18:18 Now, I think that's a good gift, though. C- can you top it, or is it the same joke? 'Cause we're gonna go over this. Well, it, it, it's, it's a better joke. Um- Okay. Oh, oh... I, I, I, I, I bought this for the... 18:28 I won't say it's a better joke, but it might be more fitting. [laughs] Uh, I, I, I, I, I have this gift for the New England Patriots- Okay... but I think that Josh Allen might steal it. 18:38 It is a photo album from Walt Disney World- Oh... from 2025. [laughs] From Drake May and the Patriots' photos from the parade after they win the Super Bowl. Okay. 18:50 Now, Josh Allen might actually win the Super Bowl and get to go to Walt Disney World as well. Ooh. Uh, but, but I was convinced after that game, even though Lamar Jackson went out, that the Patriots- Oh... 19:01 kind of built up a bit of a championship mindset, championship mentality. Uh-huh. Uh, they come back. They showed the ability to win from behind. Maybe the loss to the Bills the week before ignited things. 19:13 Maybe they needed a loss to kind of right the ship. Yeah. They have, they have, they have not one, but two bye weeks going into the post-season- Yeah... with the Jets and Dolphins. They'll be nice and well-rested. 19:22 Mm-hmm. Tre'Quan Henderson will be back by then, so you don't have to worry about that. Uh, they, they, you look at them right now, sixth in total offense, seventh in total defense, sixth against the run. 19:33 It just seems like we can talk about the soft schedule, but it just seems like when it's crunch time, when it's money time, the Patriots are rising to the moment. Did you think about that? 19:43 Did you think the same thing at 10:45 PM on Sunday? No. [laughs] Well, that's a... Right, right, right. [laughs] Yeah. And that, that's why you might wanna wait a little bit to gift a little bit. 19:51 I don't know if you wanna give it to the Bills, though. Especially 'cause it's a 2025 one. It's kinda like a little insult to the Bills, that this is what you should've done. Yes. 20:01 [laughs] Back when you were good, you could've done this. Um, I, I, I see it, though, 'cause again, w- with everything you're saying about the Patri- I, I love just being crappy about the Patriots. Yes. 20:11 Um, I- You, you, you were, you were, you were the, the biggest Ebenezer Scrooge of, uh- I'm not the-... the Patriots I am not the biggest skeptic of the Patriots. 20:20 Aaron Schatz, who's in that Foxborough, um, uh, you know, press box every other week, is a bigger, bigger one because again, you know, he does the, the statistics, and they're still ranked 15th. 20:30 I'm just gonna do this right now, and then we'll go back into it. Here is a list of the teams that the Patriots did not play this year. Okay. 20:39 The Patriots did not have to face the Rams, Seahawks, 49ers, Packers, Lions, Bears, Eagles, Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs, Texans, Jaguars, early season Colts, Joe Burrow Bengals, or even the Cowboys when we're having one of their good w- days. 20:54 And what's disappointing is that as much as I looked at that Tampa Bay win, going down there and handling the business the way they did- Oh... it, it kind of lost some luster. You, you- Yeah... 21:04 that, that, that win became a lot less impressive because of what the Buccaneers became over the last few weeks. So- Right... I, I, I don't know that they're schedule goblins. Mm-hmm. 21:13 They, they haven't necessarily been tested, but they've been dominant every step of the way. Right, and I, and I, and you're right. They have two more byes. 21:20 They might have a third bye, and that's a great position to be in. And that can, uh, pro- pro- propel you, uh, into the next level. My turn, right? Your, your turn, yes. Okay, let me grab the Rams gift real quick. 21:31 I have to get my gifts because one of Santa's elves hijacked my stocking. So while you're getting your gift, I'm gonna, I'm gonna grab the gifts that I, uh, had set aside with great thought in mind. 21:43 [laughs] Oh, ladies and gentlemen. There we go. [laughs] Got about two days... Whoa, look at you. Whoa, whoa. [laughs] This is my gift. This is my gift for the Rams. It's actually mine. I gotta get this sewn up here. 21:56 It lookS... It's a mukluk. How's this? You gotta admit, when this is up flapping in the breeze like a, like a dog's ear, I look pretty good in this. Um, somewhere- You look ready to go, uh, on the Iditarod. 22:06 Like, you could, you could- Yeah... you could, like, lead the, the huskies through, through the race, through the snow. And you know why, and you know why the Rams need this? 22:13 Because they're probably gonna be going on the road in the playoffs. I know. And we're- How about that? Yes How about that? 22:19 To Chicago, where they'll turn off the heaters on the sidelines if they don't like you, and they don't like you. I, I love Tom Brady being all about the gamesmanship of turning off the heaters. [laughs] Oh. 22:29 I mean, he c- he could not contain- Yeah... his excitement over that during the broadcast last week, and you know- Oh. Yeah, I mean, it might've been accidental. 22:37 It might've been, you know, Kevin Warren basically saying, "Hey, this is why we can't play at Soldier Field anymore." Mm-hmm. 22:42 Or it might've just been, "Hey, we really, really, really hate the Packers, so we're not going to keep the heat on for you." Tom Brady likes cheating? In ways that involve blowing things or un-blowing things? 22:53 [laughs] Un-blowing things. It's absolutely shocking, but the Rams might need this here, or they might need this in Philly, 'cause if I open the window right now, oh yeah, I could use this. It is not warm. 23:03 It is not warm. Right. Santa is watching, Sophie. Santa is watching, Sophia. Santa's watching. Right. I will let you know when you're coming on, I promise. 23:12 Um, but yeah, so this will be good, and y- and you know who doesn't like the cold, to go over this, Matthew Stafford. Mm-hmm. 23:17 Now, he played extem- extremely well, but it was interesting that the rain started, and then the Rams as a team, it might not just be Stafford, the kicking game, all these other things, kinda goes sideways in the w- in the, in the Colts, so let's give them some warm weather gear. 23:33 And that was that. To me, Mike, I think I was more impressed by anything else that, like, Sam Darnold rose to the moment in that game. Because through- Oh, I agree... 23:41 through three and a half quarters watching that game, it felt like when I was in the press box in Miami for that Super Bowl whenSophia, please. Please, Sophia. 23:51 When, when, when Kyle Sha- Kyle Shanahan was scared to death of Jimmy Garoppolo- Yeah... you know, and he had Garoppolo for most of that game, and it was just- Yeah... 24:00 hand off, hand off, hand off, um, it felt like that's what they were trying to do in Seattle. And then in the biggest moments, Darnold rose to the occasion, and led them down the field, and did what he needed to do. 24:13 I, I don't know that it changes the narrative. I don't know that it- Yeah... reshapes things. Right. But it certainly, that night, it was as impressive as we've seen from him. If you can do it once, you can do it again. 24:23 Sophia. Yeah. Sophia. Sophia, please. Yeah. Right, right, right. I, I would ha- I would hate to have to leave early and have someone, some- someone's, uh, uh, segment get canceled. I know. 24:35 You don't wanna have your segment canceled. You know, honestly, you know? But we- Come on. Right, right. 'Cause we have to gear up to so much, it went past my, my, my scheduled time here. So that was the Rams gift. 24:45 Speaking of the Bears, which we talked about, do you have a Bears gift? I do have a Bears gift, and it, it, it kind of rivals, uh, your gift for Josh Allen. Uh, this being the season of magic- Yeah... 24:55 it's a magical watch. Oh. And what this watch does is you can set it ahead. You can set this watch- [laughs]... to the fourth quarter. Oh. 25:03 And ideally, it will be a fourth quarter of a game that the Bears are losing, because Caleb Williams has a franchise record, six come from behind victories- Mm-hmm... 25:15 and his numbers in the fourth quarter, while the completion percentage isn't eye-popping, just like it hasn't been at any point during the year for him- Mm-hmm... but he has seven, uh, passing touchdowns with- Mm-hmm... 25:28 uh, just two interceptions in the fourth quarter, and he's added two more rushing scores. Uh, so you look at what they've done in fourth quarters in this game, he's played his best football in that quarter. 25:38 They've had a lot of comeback victories. Uh, I give them the magic watch to put them in a position, uh, to, to really capitalize on his best football when they need it most. 25:48 And we can get a couple of those watches, 'cause we can get one of him for the fourth quarter, and hopefully it has a little onside kick fumble button on there, too. Yes. 25:57 Um, and we can get one of those, or maybe a calendar for, uh, for Bryce Young, so he's confused what week it is, and he always thinks it's the odd weeks, and then it's time to be good. 26:08 And then, then the even weeks, then he's just like, like, "Rip, rip, rip, rip, rip. No, look, it's an odd week, so you can go." But I love that for Caleb Williams, 'cause you're right. 26:15 And, and again, like in some of these games, you're, like, waiting. Like if, even if i- in that Eagles game, you're waiting for Caleb. You're waiting for Caleb. Yeah. And he's not playing well. Let's be blunt. 26:25 It's not, it's not a superior thing. Then he comes on in the fourth quarter. Give him the magic, uh, uh, the TARDIS. Yes. Yes, and set, set the time ahead. Yeah. 26:34 I mean, that game, it was all Kyle Munnerlyn and DeAndre Swift. The other night it was D.J. Moore in a huge moment- Right... Ja'Marr Walker with that catch. Uh- Yes... 26:42 but, but Caleb, we talk about Sam Darnold rising to the moment, Caleb Williams with a signature performance. I, I thought it was- Yeah... 26:48 his most complete game, at least late, a- and when they needed him to do it the most. Um, what do we got next? And you're seeing him run it, run the ball in a timely way, too. Yes. 26:57 So this is for Eagles fans and Seahawks fans. I think we both got an Eagles gift. Of course, we got a lot of Eagles- Mm... r- listeners and all. Uh, but this is for Eagles and Seahawks fans. 27:06 Seahawks fans were not behaving well until the fourth quarter. And I do Vancouver Radio, and the, the hosts are like, "What are w- what's wrong with the Seahawks?" I'm like, "What's wrong with the Seahawks? 27:17 I'm sorry, am I on Philly radio?" You know? Like, what, what's wrong with the Eagles? So I, I got some, I got some chill pills. Oh, that's a good one. These are real chill pills, okay? These are called BlitZ. 27:27 They are real chill pills, okay? This is legal in New Jersey. I think it's legal in, uh, Ph- in Pennsylvania. I know it's legal in Seattle. Everything's legal. It's legal in Seattle. 27:35 [laughs] Everything's legal in Seattle. Um, but, but, uh, you, you can guess what the ingredients are. But help you calm down. It's a low dosage. Help you calm down. Yeah. Relax. 27:44 And I'm just gonna, like, like, just realize that, you, you know that it's, it's the real thing because it's empty. [laughs] It, it, it's been a rough year for Philly fans. It's been a rough year- It's like, right... 27:55 for Mike. We're right, right. I know, I know what you need, you know? And it's like, uh, like I, I'm not, I'm not just a giver. I'm a, I'm a user as well. So chill p- r- r- enjoy the season. 28:05 Enjoy Sam Darnold having this dream season. Enjoy Caleb Williams. Enjoy Drake May. 28:09 Enjoy the Eagles even though you're, like, seething mad, coming off a couple of wins that were a little bit more breathe easy type of things. Relax. Find your inner bliss. Inner bliss. I love it. Yeah. I love it. 28:23 Uh- Hope we don't get kicked off of YouTube for that... I'm gonna go to y- I'm gonna go to your favorite squad. Um- Okay. The, the- God... the fighting Justin Herberts in, uh, Los Angeles, in the Chargers. 28:31 And what I am giving them is a good old-fashioned participation trophy. It's a participation trophy because they're going to the playoffs. It's going to happen. Right. 28:40 Uh, but, but, but I don't think that they're going anywhere with that offensive line. Um- No... 28:45 I, I, I don't know that as much as we wanna talk about chargering being dead and the fact that they're six and one in one-score games so far this season, uh, Ca- Justin Herbert has been sacked, uh, 49 times all year. 28:58 Oof. Mm-hmm. And Sunday's game against the Cowboys was the first time all year he hasn't been sacked. Mm-hmm. He's been sacked multi- he's been sacked five or more times in four games. 29:08 So when you get into the postseason and you go up against the Denver Broncos, you go up against- Okay... the way the Jacksonville Jaguars are playing right now, you go up against- Texans... 29:16 the New England Patriots, the, the Texans- The Texans... the best defense in football, the Texans- Yeah... 29:21 uh, when you go up against teams like that, you, you're gonna need an offensive line, and the Chargers just don't have that right now. Right. 29:26 And that's one of those things where it's like, man, I'm excited what they did, and how they've- Yes... compensated and what Herbert has done, you know, and what these backup lineman has done. 29:34 There's a difference between that and being like, "And this is the dream. [laughs] This is a team of destiny." Yeah. They're, they're doing a lot to get there. Maybe they scare a team. 29:41 Of all the teams in the playoff field, except for the NFC South teams, the Chargers are one that's like, okay, it's been a gutsy effort. 29:48 You're not going to be able to run this gauntletI think we talked about it last week. They were the team that you should fear the least among the wildcard teams, right? Yeah. I mean, like- Yeah... 29:58 y- you talk about the teams that are getting in, just from a, a, a temperament, a longstanding problem closing standpoint- Yeah... 30:05 from a, a personnel standpoint with the injuries, uh, I just don't trust them, and I don't think that they're capable of making a run with that line. Yeah. 30:13 I, I, I was, like, doing the research bef- during last week, and it's like Jamari Slayer, who's been, like, all over their offensive line for a couple years, Salyer, not Sal- Slayer, Salyer, they put him at left tackle and it stabilized. 30:24 And it was like, okay, he only gave up two sacks in the last three weeks, or some, like, reasonable number. Like, okay. He got hurt in the first quarter of that game. 30:31 So then they had to put the other set of nitwits back in and rotate them. Fortunately, Matt Eberflus has no business being in the NFL anymore. He's gone. Um, but you're right. 30:40 So that'll be good participation trophy for the Chargers. We can put Justin Herbert's name on it, we can send it to the podcast, we can talk about him for the last five years. It'd be a lot of fun. Yeah. 30:49 I, uh, do you have one for the, another one for the Eagles, or was the Bliss one your, your Eagle gift that you were sharing with us? That was, that was my Eagles one. I, I, I miscounted. 30:56 That was my Eagles one, so you got another Eagles one. Okay. I, I got another one right, right here. It is a Festivus pole. Uh-huh. In, in honor of today being Festivus. 31:04 [laughs] I don't know if you watch Seinfeld or not. Yes, yeah. Um, but it's the, it's the Festivus for the rest of us. Right. And this is the opportunity for A.J. 31:11 Brown and Jalen Hurts and whoever else to air their grievances privately to the fans. The fans can come and they can gather around the Festivus pole and- [laughs]... rather than calling into WIP, they can- [laughs]... 31:24 address Nick Sirianni directly. Uh, we don't have to worry about A.J. Brown going on Twitch or, or social media. 31:31 Uh, come, come to the Festivus pole, air your grievances, players only meetings, get right in every single way before the playoffs get underway. I was expecting a bunny, but we'll take the Festivus, uh, thing. 31:41 Tell you what, you get your chill pills, you go around the Festivus pole. You don't even wanna air grievances. Your, your grievances will melt away. Have a little cocoa, have a little eggnog. 31:51 Again, we're in the same boat. Relax. I have a funny feeling we better get the elf in here before that, that room explodes. [laughs] Before I see that Christmas tree on fire. Do you, um... 32:00 And, and before we get to that, we will get to the elf in here who, uh, [laughs] might be working their way onto the naughty list. Um- Yeah... do, do you, do you buy that the Eagles are, are fixed? No. 32:10 That they fixed themselves and they've r- righted themselves over the last two weeks? Because, uh, I, I'm still healthily skeptical based on who they dominated. Yeah. 32:18 And I don't think we're gonna get a test or a feel for it the next two weeks because I don't know how much they're gonna have to play. 32:23 I think they got the tires rotated, they got the oil changed, the filter changed, but the car is the car, and we'll see where it goes. The Packers are a mess. The Lions are playing themselves out of everything. 32:33 The Bears, again, uh, as of the onside kick, you're like, "Well, that was a great effort. Good luck, guys." Now they look a little better, but that, that's, that's the way it goes. 32:41 Only the Rams and Seahawks are the, are, really look that much better, and the Seahawks have Darnold and the Rams will be going on the road. It's anybody's game. I don't think the Eagles are fixed. 32:49 I just think the opportunities are there, and they're not tripping and falling and stumbling in like they did in 2023. So it could be good. Yeah. 32:56 And, and, and I think the, I think the Bears, uh, could give them a game in the playoffs too. I mean, they came into Philadelphia and, and beat them here. Sure, sure. They ran all over the defense. 33:04 And, and, and just the way that they're creating timely turnovers in Chicago, I, I, I like their brand of football. I, I do think that it, that it travels a little bit, and- It travels... 33:14 w- why not go into Philly, you know? It tra- it travels. Like the Bear- Yeah. And the Rams, yeah, brand of football travels too, but again, the Panthers beat the Rams- Yeah... this season. Yeah. 33:23 In the, in, uh, in Ch- Char- in Charlotte- That's true... in the rain, so you have those things. So all these things are in play. 33:28 Everyone can beat everybody else, including the Eagles, who have beaten a lot of these teams. 33:32 So again, watch it, take a deep breath, have your favorite cocktail, have, uh, something else that might be legal in your area if you partake, and calm down and enjoy it. 33:42 Go around the Festivus pole like it's the maypole. Have fun with this. Yeah, we gotta get the Festivus pole. It's ready to go. Get the Festivus pole. Yeah. It's ready to go for Philadelphia. 33:49 [laughs] A- and, and I have a feeling, I, you know, I, I've covered the Eagles back in the day when, like, fans would show up on the, the fence across from the NovaCare parking lot. 33:58 They'd hang signs and banners and, like, camp out. I- it wouldn't shock me that, uh, we would see a Festivus pole outside of the NovaCare Complex that fans would be gathering around. 34:08 [laughs] They should be doing it right now then. Today is Festivus. Festivus. It's the 23rd. Several people, a lot of people do have off tomorrow. 34:15 If you don't do that, find something fun to do to relax, to not be in this, this weird head space that people were in a couple weeks ago. I think at least the last two wins settled people down a little bit. 34:24 Like- For sure. Yeah, yeah. I guess we'll bring, we'll bring in the elf here, 'cause there's been, uh- The base, yeah... 34:29 despite the long conversations and, a- and laying down the ground rules of how we're gonna do things- [laughs]... and I'll call Buddy, uh- The, the elf. The elf had locations, so we are, uh [laughs] 34:43 I used to, I used to teach in a school open on the 23rd. I know how this goes. Yeah. Uh, the early dismissal kinda get us in. So let's, uh- The sound's terrible. I know. 34:53 The sound isn't good because I, I, I don't have a, a microphone or anything, but- Okay... 34:57 Sophia, why don't you come in here and we're gonna do a little bit of, uh, picking the games on Christmas, just like you picked them on Thanksgiving. Come over here, okay? That's it, so... [laughs] The Lions. 35:08 So the Lions are playing. Yeah. Sophia, come here. Yeah. S- Sophia, I have a question. Sophia, Mike has a question. What? A question. What? There, there's been a lot of mayhem in the last half hour. 35:21 Was that you, or was it Luka, or was it the kitty cat? Luka and the kitty cat. My goodness. [laughs] I hope you're not compounding a little bit of lively behavior with a fib. I know. 35:35 It is, it's like the double dose of, uh, naughty list material. It's like, yeah, it's like doubling down on the naughty. It's, uh, yeah, but you know, that's, that's between you and Santa. 35:44 I know I look like Santa, but I'm not Santa. Anyway, happy Festivus. Happy Festivus. Happy day before Christmas Eve. We'll do early dismissal today, so we had the chaotic podcast.Right. Well, that's it. 35:57 They, they get sugared up on that day before Christmas. Yeah. And I used to... I know how it is. There's the, the cat. I always- Can I show Daddy the elves? There's Tigger. [laughs] That's Tigger. 36:05 I wanna show Daddy the elves. Oh, this is... You're gonna show me the elves, yes. But, uh, we're gonna pick some games here, right? And, and, uh, Michael, are you picking- The elves are right there. Oh, the elves. 36:17 The Santa, the Christmas elves on the shelves. What do we got? It, oh, no. We'll have to use some magic so they can go back later today. Come here, Sophia. Now, now, Sophia, Sophia- That's a little buddy. 36:33 You're, you're not picking Tiggers. He even has a face on that. Okay. Let me ask you something. What? What kind of treats did you have when you were at school today? What sort of treats did you have? 36:42 At your party, what kind of treats did you have at your holiday party? Do you have cookies? Yeah. Do you have cookies? Yeah. Did you have, did you have some candies? Cupcakes. I had cupcakes, candy. Yeah, a lot. 36:54 I, now, now I'm certain you have all your teeth. Glad you're playing along. Yeah. The first game we need you to pick, Sophia, is Commanders against Cowboys. 37:02 I'm worried you don't have a prop for Commanders against Cowboys, but do you have... Can you make a pick for us? We're gonna go into our bag of props. 37:10 I think she saw my Christmas stocking and decided that she was going to get some gift bags- Oh, that's very good... props as well. Very good. Commanders versus Cowboys. Yeah. Who do we have? Yes, yes, yes. Hmm. 37:22 You can't guess. You have to guess. Okay. I'm gonna guess Cowboys, 'cause I think there's a chance you might have Woody or somebody like that, or, or, what, the, or... Yes. I forgot her name. What's her name? 37:34 Yeah, Jessie. Jessie. Yes, uh, yes. I loved her. She's amazing. I, I know I just forgot her name, so it doesn't sound authentic. 37:40 But, so does that mean you're picking Cowboys, or are you saying, like, she's sort of the commander of the toys? Cowboys? Yeah. Cowboys. Or maybe- Okay... the, um- Yeah. I'm going Cowboys too in this one. 37:53 I don't know about you. Uh, you know, Marcus Mariota banged up again. Yeah. Skeleton crew of a skeleton crew. 38:00 Cowboys though, Dallas has everything to play for, which means they're gonna go out and hang a 50 burger on them, and Dak Prescott's gonna throw for 450 yards and four touchdowns. Cuss is off. 38:09 Uh, I- I'm going Dallas here. I'm gonna go with Dallas too, so we're all picking the Cowboys, including Sophia and Jessie, uh, the, the cowgirl. So that's the first one. 38:19 I don't think there's a lot of drama in this next pick, Sophia. It's the Lions against the Vikings. Who are you picking? Lions or- I don't really like cats anymore, but- Oh. You don't like cats anymore? 38:33 No, I kind of like cats, but a animal just made me pick something else. Ooh, it's a lion. There he is. There's Mickey again. That's a beautiful lion. By the way, you don't like cats anymore? Kind of. What is happening? 38:48 Don't say that. Don't say that around Tigger. I don't think he'd be too happy to hear that. I do like Tigger, but I don't really like cats. You, you don't, you're not, like, into cats the way you were into cats. 39:00 Understood. Understood. My God. [laughs] He is a different animal, and I did change my creature to something else. O- okay. What did you change your creature to? Oh, you have to guess. 39:09 [laughs] It's a, she likes, like, a zoo animal. It is animals that we saw in zoos. Is it a gir- is it a giraffe? No. Z- a zebra? No. [laughs] Chimpanzee. No. You can tell him. Thomson's gazelle. No. 39:26 A start, starts with a F. It starts with an F. A fox? Close. It's a, it's a ferret. 39:36 She wants a ferret for Christmas, which I don't, [laughs] I don't think is gonna happen because I, I don't think the cat and the ferret would get along all that well. [laughs] I'm not getting a real one. 39:45 I'm gonna just get a toy one. That's what I was thinking. That, like, goes a lot around and it's crazier than that. Have you ever s- have you ever smelled a real ferret? Stinky. Yeah, they're very stinky. Very stinky. 39:57 But a toy ferret smells like a toy, so you have that going for us. Ferrets are kinda cool. A great thing to visit when one of your friends has one. Um, let's go with the last one here. 40:06 So we have the last game, Broncos against Chiefs. I know we had to do a Chiefs, uh, couple weeks ago. Who you picking, Broncos against Chiefs? 40:13 Broncos against Chiefs, and you know, just as an aside, how upset does Netflix have to be with that game? With no, no more Patrick Mahomes, no more Gordon Minshew. Yeah. Yeah, it really- You guess. 40:25 [laughs] I'm gonna guess, while you might not like cats anymore and your creature may have changed, most little girls have a horsey around somewhere. 40:35 So I'm gonna think you might have s- uh, be showing a horsey for the Broncos. I suppose it could be Jessie's horsey. I forget her name, but... Oh, it's a My Little Pony horse. Which one's that? I don't know. 40:49 You don't know? [laughs] I just like this pony. I don't know what its name is. I don't know. So you, so you don't really watch the My Little Ponies? No, not really. I, I don't either. 41:00 I'm not a brony, which is a older guy who- Oh. What's a brony? A brony is an older guy who likes the ponies. So it's, like, a dad who, like, watches, likes the ponies so much. 41:11 They're like, "Let's watch the My Little Ponies." He likes it. [laughs] He's a brony. [laughs] Uh, I, I, I guess I'm a part-time brony, I guess. He's a brony. No, I know he's a brony. 41:21 He always sits there and watchs My Little Pony. [laughs] That's what you do sometimes, yes. No, no, no, I don't watch it. You always watch it on, in your office. Oh, okay. 41:32 [laughs] You just sit, you sing songs and stuff and- At 1:00, at 1, 1:00 on Sunday, he's watching My Little Pony, but that's... Again, it's kind of a fun show. 41:40 It's neat, but make sure you know, tell all the kids in your class that your dad's a brony. Make sure you do that. 41:45 [laughs] And the thing- So you pick the Broncos then, 'cause a B- B- Bronco's a horse and you picked the pony. 41:52 Uh, and I think that is definitely the right pick, 'cause all the players on the Chiefs are injured, so that's gonna be, like, the guaranteed lock of a pick. 41:58 And like, do we even know who the quarterback is for Kansas City in this game, because, uh, is it Noah Gray? Is it-Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I know that the fella, Alana Kuhn got hurt as well. 42:09 Alana Kuhn Yes, I mean, it's, I mean, we're, we're talking like scraping the bottom of the barrel. Uh, we're, we're hitting the dirt underneath the barrel at this point in Kansas City. 42:18 And then somebody dropped me a, actually dropped me a, a email Going over it, and I can't find it right now. So again, it's the 23rd. I'm not prepped up. 42:27 They have, they have somebody, it's not on the practice squad, and it's not Alata Kuhn. I said his name wrong. 42:34 Uh, but I forget who is going to be the quarterback if Alata Kuhn doesn't go, and I don't think Minshew's available. No, it's a, it's a guy. This is a dog. Yeah, that's, that's called American Girl, though. 42:44 Yeah, you're better than a stupid dog. [laughs] So I'm gonna call this podcast. Yes, I am. I am too. I am wa- I'm waving the red flag. Forget the shirt. I'm gonna, the flag, I'm gonna wave the red shirts. 42:58 Uh, we, this is going completely off the rails. We've lost control over here. Um, I, I'm gonna put something else in that eggnog. Um- Yeah... I think I, I think I need some af- after this. 43:07 Uh, but thanks everybody for the patience and for tuning in. Mike, thanks for the gifts, uh, for the teams. We'll see how, uh, they'll receive. Okay, have a good birthday. 43:16 Thank you for Sophia the Elf for joining us to make her selections. Yes. Bye. Merry Christmas to everybody. Happy holidays, and, uh, Mike, we'll talk to you next week. Okay, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Sophia. 43:28 Merry Christmas, Sophia. I'm sending this straight to Santa, just as a warning. Merry Christmas, everybody. To all who celebrate, happy holidays. We'll see you before New Year's. Take care, everyone. Take care, everyone.
